I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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