You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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