After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
