im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize