Can i not drive my cunt home
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
there is puke in my bra ... again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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