That's intense
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Even my vagina gasped.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
