I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
