porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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