i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
from now on my penis is your penis
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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