I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
