i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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