I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just invented taco cereal.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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