Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize