Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize