windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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