I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Swine flu is the new snow day.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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