I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
