i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
