Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
