I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was confusing and full of hummus
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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