i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
