I saw his package. It spoke to me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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