she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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