So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
