Screwed.edu
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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