soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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