i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
