So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
