Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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