i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
