Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
