rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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