I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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