Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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