Sponge bath it is.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize