I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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