Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
