I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
love makes seman taste better
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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