just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
