You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
