she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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