I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
