I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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