Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
