Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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