My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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