Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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