You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
