This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
