Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
