have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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