i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
