So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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