scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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