Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
