im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
did you just send me my own nude
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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