The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
