you guys were way drunker than both of me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
