When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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