as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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