A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize