just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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