then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
