Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
